About Cecilia

I am a Life & Clutter Coach and IST Practitioner. I LOVE helping writers, creatives and entrepreneurs just like YOU, make their homes and lives into supportive containers for their creative AND personal lives.  

Cecilia's sharp, crystalline insight has kept me on track in my creative life, my business life, and my emotional life for the past six years: she's a triple threat!

 - Sarah Selecky, author of Giller Prize nominated This Cake is for the Party

Tuesday
Nov122013

Do you want a real life super power?

Psst, can I tell you a secret? 

Would you believe me if I told you that I have a super power? 

Would you believe me if I told you that you can have one too? 

Last week I wrote a guest post for the brand new blog over at cvbuzz.org about a real life super power that any of us can have with a little practice. 

Have I found the secret to flight, invisibility or teleportation? 

I guess you'll just have to fly on over to find out for yourself. 

Click here to read, and please share it with your friend who has always dreamed of waking up with a super power. 

Love,
Cecilia
ox

p.s. Are you feeling stuck?  Let's talk about it, just send me an email and we can set up a time to chat.
p.p.s. If you're reading this and you're not on my list, you should really get yourself on it!  Just pop on over here to get on!  All the cool kids are doing it!

Tuesday
Oct292013

Writer's Block and What's Underneath - Getting to Honest

When I write, I want to write from a place that’s honest and true, otherwise why bother. 

For an eternity, which in reality was probably 4-5 months, whenever I sat down to write, I was met, not by the fresh breeze of honesty, but with the smelly sticky tar that I like to call the “you’re stupid” beast.    

Trying to write with the “you’re stupid” beast hanging over my shoulder was impossible.  

Hyper critical, I hated every single word I wrote.  My writing felt stupid and derivative.  It was awful and painful so I would give up and walk away.  

A couple of weeks ago I had to write something.  I promised it to someone else.  I had a deadline. 

I had to write.

So I sat down at the computer, put on my headphones and started writing.  

The “you’re stupid” beast was there waiting to whisper it’s bad breath insults into my ear. 

Every.  Single.  Word.  Painful.

Every sentence a horrible cliche filled train wreck.  The beast was winning, so I tried another tactic.  

I started writing about the pain instead.  I wrote and I wrote and then cried and cried and then wrote and cried until my aha moment came.  

It wasn’t the writing that was painful, it was my heart that hurt.  So much grief, so much sadness, the sadness of life.

Writing out that grief, my grief, was liberating.  

When I looked up from the screen I realized the “you’re stupid” beast was gone leaving only a sticky black paw print on my shoulder and the faint odor of halitosis behind.

I was back in the honest place with the fresh salt water breeze washing over me, each wave settling my feet deeper and deeper into the sand.  I looked out onto the horizon, open, a little scared but mostly just relieved to be there.

The next day when I sat down again to write, I wasn’t sure what would be there to meet me. 

My bravery of the night before was rewarded with the hoots and hollers of seagulls, my honest space was there waiting for me.

I understand that the “you’re stupid” beast was trying to do me a favour.  He was trying to protect me from the real source of my pain.

I also understand that in order to really be in my honest space, I had to actually be honest.  Honest with myself and honest with my feelings. 

My wise friend Sarah says that as our writing demons will always be bigger than our ability.  So as you improve, your demons grow.  There’s no winning, but hopeful there are moments of grace and flow.  Moments of truth on the page.

She said that the only cure is to write for the love of writing.

You can’t write for the end result, you can’t write for the product.  You can only write for the love of it.  

It’s kind of true of everything isn’t it…  In terms of living a life that’s fulfilling.

Imagine if every day I meditated, I did it for an audience, for a grade.  All I can say is that, a lot of the time, those would be some pretty terrible grades.  What matters is that I sit there.  I show up and meditate, sometimes terribly, every single day.  That’s it.  

That’s success. 

My friend Samantha posted this Julia Cameron quote on her facebook page the other day:

"In the recovery of a blocked artist, anger is a sign of health." 

- Julia Cameron

I love this, because it’s true.  You don’t have to be an artist or a writer to know the feeling of being blocked or stuck.  

So, the question is, what’s underneath the procrastination?  What’s underneath the clutter?  There’s the discomfort of the block, but what’s underneath that?  Maybe there’s an emotion you don’t want to feel or a belief that you have about the situation.  Your job is to be the archeologist, looking to see what’s underneath.

Fear, anger, grief or maybe when you look closer it's not scary at all, it's just you.

You might have a sticky beast of your own waiting for you, so just go under it until you get to the fresh breeze of what you really want.  

Is it easy?  Not always.  Is it worth it?  Absolutely!

I’m writing this for you my dear friend, but also for myself, so that when I smell the beast coming I can gather the bravery needed to feel what I'm really feeling and move through to the other side.

I’d love to hear from you.  Do you have a sticky beast that keeps you from what’s important and real?  How do you deal with it?  Let me know in the comments below.

Please share this with your friend who is having trouble writing, dating or taking the leap, they’ll thank you later.

Sending you so much love,
Cecilia
oxo

p.s. Are you feeling stuck?  Let's talk about it, just send me an email and we can set up a time to chat.

p.p.s. If you're reading this and you're not on my list, you should really get yourself on it!  Just pop on over here to get on!  All the cool kids are doing it!

Tuesday
Oct222013

The Time Container aka The Best Tool to Deal with your Poopy Procrastinating Perfectionist 

In case you're wondering why things have been a little wonky the past day or two, mercury went retrograde yesterday and will stay that way until November 10th. 

 Huh? 

Mercury retrograde is an astrological event that happens about three times a year and although it's a pain in many ways (communication mix ups, travel delays, electronic or mechanical breakdowns and not a great time to make big purchases or finalize important decisions) it's a fantastic time to clear clutter and deal with unfinished business.  It's also a great time to plan and research.

We're all so busy, busy, busy, mercury retrograde is just telling us to slow down and reassess.  This is a time to be internal, to listen and transform.  I find it a great reminder to be patient, to stop grasping and pushing.

I'm laughing because I've had so many issues getting this latest post up I now know why all my astrologer friends send out information on mercury retrograde before mercury goes retrograde.  Smart, smart.  It's been a good reminder to be patient.  ;)

So, in honour of mercury retrograde I want to re-introduce to you the single most helpful tool that I've found to clear clutter and unfinished business.  The time container!  

Last week after dinner, I wanted to snuggle up on the couch to watch some Netflix instead of cleaning the kitchen, but I also knew that waking up to a messy kitchen would be a drag.  So when my sweetie suggested using a time container to clean up I jumped on the opportunity.

I set the timer for 15 minutes and when it went off, the kitchen was totally clean, dishes washed and dried, counters wiped down and there was even enough time left over to take the garbage out.

Wow!  I had forgotten about this simple and powerful tool.  The time container is so totally rad that even though I wrote about it in my very first blog post, I’m going to write about it again.  

I used it in the coming days to complete a number of tasks that had been plaguing me.  

The mouldering things in the fridge I had been meaning to get to for weeks (I know, gross), took me a total of 5 minutes to throw out.

The container  cupboard that had been driving me crazy for months, 15 minutes to toss, clean and organize.

The messy dry goods cupboard, where some very stale croutons had been skulking since June and oatmeal from the bulk food store was waiting patiently in a plastic bag for a mason jar, took all of 10 minutes to deal with.  

What amazes me about procrastination, is that the energy it takes to NOT do something is so much more than the time and energy it takes to actually do it.

Not doing things is totally exhausting.  

One issue with procrastination is that we lump too many tasks together and then get into an all or nothing perfectionist mind set.  

Procrastination and perfectionism are besties.

Looking at my kitchen from a perfectionist standpoint, I saw all of those little jobs and lumped them together along with all the other chores I had to do, until it became one big overwhelming mess.  

As we all know, when it comes to a choice between all or nothing, nothing is most likely to win.  

How do you combat nothing?  By doing something very small.  

You just have to accept that your perfectionist is never going to be happy.  Even if you managed to do it ALL, your perfectionist would come up with a whole list of other things that you hadn’t accomplished, or see the flaws in what you did do.  

“Who cares if you just cleaned every single inch of your house and got rid of all your clutter, you never did get that PhD in neuroscience, did you?  Oh, and you missed a spot...”

Let’s face it, perfectionism is a total poopy head.

Fortunately the Time Container is the best way to shush your poopy procrastinating perfectionist.

Instructions for the Time Container

Step One - Choose a task and be realistic

What does this mean?  It means, don’t let your poopy perfectionist choose the task.  Instead, choose something small, really small.  For example you’re not going to clean out your whole dresser in 5-15 minutes, but you could tackle the sock drawer.  Be specific!  Cleaning is not a specific task, vacuuming the living room is.

Step Two - Set a timer for 5 - 15 minutes

Your poopy perfectionist is trying to convince you at this very moment that there’s absolutely nothing you can complete in 5-15 minutes, but that’s a lie.  If you really focus your energy and attention there’s a lot you can get done in 5-15 minutes.  Try it!  Be clear and relentlessly come back to your task during the time container.  If you don't like the idea of a timer, use three songs on your favorite playlist.

Step Three - DO IT!!!!  

This is self explanatory.  Once the timer is set and running, tackle your task fervently.  Always coming back to it if you get distracted.  If you’re doing the dishes and get distracted, come back to the dishes, come back to the dishes, come back to the dishes.

Step Four - When the timer goes off…  STOP!

Why do you stop?  Once you start, your poopy perfectionist might take over and move into ALL mode.  Next thing you know it's 4am, you're crying over old love letters or cleaning the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush. You stop to honour your boundaries.  You stop so the next time you try a time container the part of you that's resistant knows that 15 minutes means 15 minutes, not four hours.  Now, if at the end of the time container you really want to continue, that’s OK, just be sure that you check in with yourself first and then set another time container.  You don’t want the experience to go from positive to punishing.

Step Five - CELEBRATE!!!!!!!    

I took a workshop once where we were asked to make a list of all the events in our lives that we hadn’t celebrated.  I was shocked to find some really big events on my list like graduating from high school and university.  As far as the poopy perfectionist is concerned nothing is important enough to celebrate.  

Why celebrate? You celebrate to practice acknowleding the little things so that it’s easier to acknowledge the big things.  The celebration could be as simple as putting on a song you really love, making a cup of tea or calling a friend.  Most of the time I just leave the room and then come back in for the big reveal or open the cupboard again and again to admire my work.

YAY!  The time container rocks.

To review:

  1. Choose a realistic task
  2. Set a timer for 5-15 minutes
  3. Do it!
  4. Stop
  5. CELEBRATE!!!!

There you have it, the tool that will change your freakin’ life!

It’s your turn!  Right now, take five minutes to do a little task that you’ve been putting off forever.  Seriously, right now, you can do it!  It doesn't have to be clutter, it can be anything.

See you in 5...

Yay!!!  You did it!  I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below.  Let me know what you did and how it was to use the time container.  I’d also love to hear if you have any tools that help you deal with your poopy perfectionist procrastinator.

Please share this with your friend who needs a little help cleaning her fridge.

Big love,
Cecilia
oxo

p.s. I have a new office space in the Annex at Jaya Integrative Health Centre!  Are you feeling stuck?  I can help, and have room for 4 new clients.  Just email to book your session. 

p.p.s. Thank you for all the supportive words for my meditation workshop earlier this month.  It was absolutely beautiful.

p.p.p.s. If you're reading this and you're not on my list, you should really get yourself on it!  Just pop on over here to get on!  All the cool kids are doing it!

 


Thursday
Oct032013

I keep meaning to tell you about this...

A lot of people don't believe it when I tell them that I'm shy.  But I am.

I've actually been super shy to tell you about something that's really important to me.

Three and a half years ago I sat across my friend Tracey Stanton as she facilitated a meditation workshop that I had organized for her.  It was a beautiful perfect weekend.  After a poignant practice the first day, seeing and feeling the openness of the participants, a dream jumped out of my heart. 

My heart said "I want to do this some day.  I want to facilitate meditation workshops." 

It seemed like a long shot, especially considering I was struggling to meditate daily at the time.  In fact, for the longest time, the whole idea of me meditating at all seemed like a joke.  I was fidgety and restless and never in a million years did I think I could meditate. 

In the past few years the unlikely became reality. I established a solid personal practice, I spent months living on property at the meditation school I study with doing practices every day.  It's become a huge part of my life.  I even *gasp* look forward to it every morning.

You may have already guessed what I'm excited/shy about. 

I am co-facilitating a meditation workshop with my friend Samantha Keen called Pathway to Clarity.  It's THIS WEEKEND, October 5th and 6th here in Toronto.  

Yes, you read that correctly, I'm not just organizing it, I'm actually going to be instructing! 

This my friend is a really BIG DEAL and it kind of blows me away.

Do you know what this means for you?  This means that a dream that you're holding in your heart right now might be closer to becoming a reality than you could ever imagine.

I don't know why I was so shy to share this with you, but I'm glad I did.  Of course I would be so touched if you could come.  It's seriously an amazing workshop (and I'm not just saying that because I'll be leading you in some of the practices). 

If you're curious, you can read more about it here.

AND because you're you and you're special, if you use the code YAYDREAMS you'll save $30 off the regular price.  Click Here to sign up!

What about you?  Do you have any unlikely dreams?  What if you just let your heart want them?  I'd love to hear all about it below.

Sending you lots of love,
Cecilia
ox

p.s. If you're reading this and you're not on my list, you should really get yourself on it!  Just pop on over here to get on!  All the cool kids are doing it!

Tuesday
Sep032013

Do you want to write?

It's the first day of school!  The first real day of Fall (officially still summer, but definitely Fall).  Fall to me means new stuff to learn, new classes to take and of course new back to school outfits!

Do you want to write? 

I'll be honest, for a long time I never, ever, ever wanted to write anything ever.  I'm serious.  I feared writing more than most things. 

(Well, not more than the Peanut Monster, the feature monster in a recurring dream from my youth.  It was about a monster who wanted my peanuts.  Lesson?  Eating peanuts is DANGEROUS!  My sister and brother are deathly allergic, I wonder if it's related?)

My fear of writing was so great that I just didn't do it. 

Essay due?  No problem, don't do it, you're "bright" and have "potential". 

If you really, really can't get out of it, get drunk, write it late at night and don't worry about how terrible it is.  It can't be good, because you left it to the last minute. 

That was me and my relationship to writing, that is, until I met Sarah Selecky. 

I took my first course with Sarah as a dare to myself. 

I was going through a phase where if something scared me I had to do it.  I'm not talking about hanging out naked with black widow spiders, I'm talking about hugging strangers and putting up online dating profiles.  

That dare began years of working with Sarah and my relationship to writing.  

It's true, my series of drunken painful one night stands with writing, became a relationship.  An honest and true long term relationship.  

Has it always been easy?  My goodness, no.  Do we still fight?  Always.  Do I love writing?  Yes I do, through of the turmoil, I really do.

I love it because it's real.  I love it because it wakes me up to the world around me. 

I love it because it forces me to notice the details, like how right now it seems quiet, but if I listen I can hear the wind in the maple tree outside my office, someone raking the leaves, the squeak of brakes, hammering, kids playing with water guns, my dog breathing in the hallway and a plane overhead.  

Do you want to write?

If you do, I have something very exciting to share with you.  Sarah Selecky has a writing course starting very soon called The Story Intensive

It's based on her very popular Story is a State of Mind (a self directed online course) but for those of us who need a little more structure and accountability with our writing. 

It's an online course, and you'll be part of a small 8 person group lead by a TA.  There will be feedback and support.  New friends and a new relationship with writing.   

Sarah knows her stuff.  She's a Giller nominated author who taught writing courses for over 12 years in her living room before moving her living room online.  

She's a matchmaker, if the lover you seek is writing.  

The Story Intensive has a lot of bonuses including live calls with Sarah and an exclusive video Master Class with Margaret Atwood (that's right, Margaret freakin' Atwood, she who hasn't taught since the '70s and who may know a thing or two about writing).  

I love Sarah and I love what she has to teach.  Working with Sarah changed my life.  It's not often I can say that about something, but it's true. 

She taught me how to turn pain into beauty, how to allow the perfect metaphor to fall in my lap like a cat looking for comfortable place to nap.  She gave me writing.  She gave me myself.

Because I love Sarah, writing and YOU, if you sign up for The Story Intensive through my affiliate link, you'll get a free one hour coaching session with me worth $125.    

Registration for The Story Intensive closes Thursday September 5th at 12pm EST and there are just a few spots left. 

Click here to read more about the program and register. 

If you've been thinking about it, just do it.  Working with Sarah literally changed my life and continues to change my life daily.  Now's your chance to let her change yours.  

If you have any questions at all, please let me know and please feel free to pass this along to any of your closet writer friend.      

Love,

Cecilia

oxo

p.s. If you're reading this and you're not on my list, you should really get yourself on it!  Just pop on over here to get on!  All the cool kids are doing it!

p.p.s. My friend Samantha and I are facilitating an amazing meditation workshop in Toronto this Fall called Pathway to Clarity, October 5-6.  It would be so sweet if you could come.