I was at a friend's house not long ago for tea when she asked me, as friends sometimes do, for my opinion on the state of her living room. The space was lovely and bright, but as I entered the first thing I noticed was this pile of boxes in one corner.
Before I go on, it's important to note that this corner was fairytale famous. I had heard legends of this corner. Six-fingered man, evil step-mother, endless sleep legends of this land. I had been warned of this corner, warned of this "messy" living room. From all of these warnings and legends I braced myself for a 20 year fight.
What could be inside these boxes?
The tale goes that the boxes had been there for years bringing great sorrow and shame on the kingdom, uh, apartment. Surely, the contents of those boxes were explosive! Emotional landmines just waiting to cause weeks of fetal position sobbing.
Old love letters? The ashes of a beloved cat? A wobbly old mixed tape?
I asked and braced myself for the answer.
The boxes were full of.... Wait for it...
NOTHING!
Nothing? Really? All that angst, all that shame for... nothing?
That's right. Nichts, nada, rien, 0... Nothing!
To be fair, my friend, S, is not the only person with a pile of empty boxes masquerading as boxes of doom. I've seen it time and time again working with clients. The corner we've spent weeks/months/years skirting around is indeed filled with empty boxes.
The interesting thing about S' case, is this. At the same time as the empty boxes were taking up a good deal of her physical space, she also found herself in a feather wisp of a relationship. The label said relationship but the contents said just friends, no benefits. Not only that, she was half working at a job that took this hilarious, beautiful, creative being and reduced her to eye circles and belly aches.
I'm sure you're eager to find out how the fairy tale ends. I'm happy to report that after flinging the empty boxes S' life began to change, and fast. Out went the relationship! Au revoir went the job! In short time she said howdy to a love affair with yoga and yes, even hola to a sweet man.
Empty boxes can come in all shapes and sizes. Square, rectangular, or they could be that relationship that is already over, that job you hate or the path you're walking in someone else's shoes.
Sometimes those boxes are hard to see, but once you do it's your duty to break them down and take them out on recycling day. Don't worry, you'll find some really good empty boxes when you need them, and in the meantime you can befriend dragons, ride unicorns and most definitely go to the ball...
Do you have any empty boxes in your space or life? I'd love to hear about them below!
Take care,
Cecilia Moorcroft